Journal de bord

Le sapphirina est un copépode.

Depp Sea News: “The most beautiful animal you’ve never seen.”

I was falling for Richie early in this week’s Looking, and by the time he bottomed for Patrick, I was sold. This guy’s awesome.

More to the point, he’s the mouthpiece for an attitude about gay sex that I find both refreshingly frank and devoid of immature bullshit.

For instance: when Richie and Patrick go to the planetarium as part of a day-long, emotionally open date that pushes them into full boyfriend territory, they talk about topping and bottoming. That’s a familiar conversation in any gay relationship, but Richie swats away the labels by saying they’re only for people on websites. In real life, he declares, you have to feel things out with your partner and not shut yourself off.

Later, he calls out “bottom shame,” which is a great name for a very real phenomenon where gay men convince themselves they don’t want to get pounded because they’re afraid it will make them weak or disgust their straight friends and family. And that’s unfortunate, because it limits the sexual menu AND fosters internalized homophobia.

I suspect most gay men deal with bottom shame at some point or another — I certainly have — but I don’t recall it ever being discussed on TV. In fact, a lot of gay characters in pop culture either avoid mentioning anal sex altogether or treat it with a giggly sense of naughtiness that ignores how, hello, it’s probably going to factor into any gay male couple’s life. Even if you never have anal sex — which is fine, of course — you still need to talk about it. It’s not necessary for a great sex life, but it’s still an option. And a culturally loaded option, at that. It’s worth a conversation. […]

Previously.TV, Mark Blankenship: “Richie Will Be Your Rachel (And Your Ross)”.